


Unwavering

by stressfangirl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 05:29:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11224299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressfangirl/pseuds/stressfangirl
Summary: Luhan loves Sehun so deeply but all he can do is to love his friend in silent.





	Unwavering

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Paramore's song Hate to see your heart breaks.  
> This is unbeta-ed

They said loving someone from afar is one of the most difficult things to do but for Luhan it's more difficult when that special someone happens to be one of you close friend who runs to you whenever he has love problems. It doesn't take a genius for their other group of friends to know how much Luhan feels for Oh Sehun even though how hard he tries to hide it. Luhan first met Sehun and their other friends four years ago back when he was still in his second year of college and Sehun’s a freshman student it was during a party of their common friend Kim Jongdae - Luhan’s org mate and Sehun’s cousin.

Luhan was at the second-floor veranda drinking his beer with Chanyeol when he notices an attractive guy talking with his classmate Sooyoung, no matter how much Luhan tries to stop looking at the certain guy his eyes can’t stop following him wherever he goes. As he observes him Luhan notice how he loves to mingle especially to the girls and since then Luhan knew he will never get a chance with this guy.

“That’s Jongdae’s cousin, Sehun," Chanyeol told him

“I’m not asking for his name”

“Yeah sure but you have been staring at him for awhile now”

“Oh please Yeol I’m just observing him” Luhan reason out that made his best friend Park Chanyeol laugh.

"Whatever you said Lulu" he teases.

That night after the party’s over, Luhan, Chanyeol and their other group of friends are lounging together at Jongdae’s receiving area.

"Hey, guys before I forgot this is my cousin Oh Sehun” Jongdae introduce. “He’s studying AB communication” he added.

“Oh same department” Chanyeol whispers to Luhan making the shorter blush

“goddammit chanyeol stop it” Luhan hissed.

Jongdae introduce his friends to Sehun one by one “And this is Luhan he is also in your department and his taking up journalism along with Chanyeol” Sehun reach for Luhan’s hands to shake “nice to meet you hyung, it’s nice to know we are in the same department” Luhan smiles at took his hands Luhan can’t hold on his blush as he notice how Sehun’s big hands fits exactly to his.

 

***

 

“Luhan hyung! Luhan Hyung!” Luhan turns around to see who keeps calling only to find Sehun running towards him.

“It’s me Sehun, Jongdae’s cousin do you still remember me?” _every detail of your handsome face_ Luhan thought.

“Of course Sehun, What’s the matter?” Luhan asks

“Hyung are you busy? I just need to ask you about this one subject?” Luhan check his watch it's still twelve-fifteen in the afternoon he still has three hours before his next class.

 

Luhan nods and told him if they can work about that at the cafeteria since he already hungry. Sehun agrees and so the both of them went to the school cafeteria to have lunch together. Ever since that day whenever Sehun needs to ask something or he does have the vacant time he always goes to Luhan, sometimes they spend the whole afternoon together if Luhan’s afternoon class got canceled. Later on, Luhan finds out that Sehun is an irregular student and that they have one class together every Monday and Friday.

“Hyung are you friends with Kang Nari?” Sehun asks all of a sudden. Luhan thinks for awhile who Nari is then he remembers the petite lady like a classmate of him the one who Sehun talked to yesterday.

“Not really but we greet each other whenever we met, why asks?”

“Nothing, I just thought you are friends I could ask you for her number” Sehun explain.

“Oh” then Luhan continue writing on his paper and ignore the heavy feeling he suddenly feels in his fragile heart.  

The next day Luhan, Sehun and their other friends meet at a coffee shop near their campus everyone is so busy working on their individual homework while Sehun can't put down his phone.

“Look’s like someone’s busy with other things, hey Sehun!” Jongdae asks, the younger smiles and said he is texting Kang Nari.

“Huh I thought you don't have her number," Luhan said

“I saw her earlier decided to man up and ask for her number, She’s really pretty and I want to know her more” Sehun explain while he keeps on texting Nari.

Luhan suddenly stands up and excuse himself to the bathroom, when Sehun asks if he's fine he said he experienced a mild panic attack and quickly left their table. But in reality, Luhan is far from experiencing panic attack because he’s totally fine it’s just that it kills him to know how Sehun extends some effort to get closer to her, that moment Luhan wish he was Nari so he can make him smile as well.

"Hey, you okay?" Chanyeol asks he follows Luhan after the shorter left their table. Luhan shakes his head “I’m far from being fine Yeol” he cries “I hate him and his handsome face ugh!” Luhan rants.

Chanyeol comes closer and hugs his best friend, it's the least he can do. "We can always ask someone to punch his handsome face" He teases him which earn a slap from Luhan “Don’t you ever do that, I love Sehun so much I don’t want to see him in pain. ”

 

***

 

Luhan didn’t know when did he start having feelings for Sehun, maybe because of how thoughtful he is or how he cares for him or maybe because of those small things Sehun did to him that makes his heart flutters. As crazy as it sounds but in a short period of time Luhan falls for Sehun so deeply and before everything gets worst he wants to avoid him.

The following day Luhan plans to start avoiding Sehun as much as possible but the younger sticks to him wherever he goes, whenever he don't have class Sehun visit Luhan in his classroom, however, Luhan knows he’s not the reason why Sehun’s there. Luhan hates how Sehun keeps on talking about Nari every time they are together, he hates how he notices every detail about her it makes him hates Nari when in fact he shouldn’t have since the girl doesn’t know about his existing feelings for Sehun. Luhan is so close to telling Sehun that he should stop talking about her but he didn't, Luhan didn’t want to give Sehun any idea that he is annoyed when he talks about her and Luhan didn’t want Sehun to get mad at him.

"Can we work on this later, I'm hungry let's eat first?" Luhan tells Sehun when they were working on their paired writing homework.

“I can’t hyung, I’m going to meet with Nari for lunch” Sehun answers, Luhan nods and decided to finish their homework instead. For a couple of day Luhan notice how Sehun rarely goes with him this time. The other day he told Sehun about that new cafe that opens near his place and that they should go together but the younger declines saying he have plans with Nari again.

“Hyung let’s eat lunch together” Sehun suddenly invites him just like how he does before. Luhan smiles widely finally he and Sehun will go and have lunch together he misses the younger so much for the past few weeks.

“So what comes to your mind why did you invite me for lunch?” Luhan jokes

“I miss hanging out with my Luhan hyung and my girlfriend is out of town” Sehun casually said.

 _Girlfriend ouch_. Kang Nari is Sehun’s girlfriend.

Luhan tries to smile he feels like someone throws a pail of water on him after he heard what Sehun just said. _Girlfriend._ He wants to cry but he can’t do it in front of Sehun. Luhan spend the rest of the afternoon with Sehun since (unfortunately) his professor for his next class is not around and for the whole time Sehun can’t stop talking about Nari, Nari this, Nari that and yet Luhan can’t do anything but listen because he loves Sehun even if Sehun repeatedly told him how he is in love with her.  

 

***

 

Luhan learns the hard way that no matter how much he wants to be with Sehun he can change the fact that the younger is so much in love with his girlfriend and he wouldn’t have any chances at all. _Or that’s what he thought so_. After that day Luhan rarely saw Sehun at school he heard from Jongdae that Sehun usually spend his vacant time with his girlfriend.

Days turns into weeks, weeks turned into months soon they first semester is finally over, Luhan survives the rest of the semester and summer vacation avoiding Sehun. He stops doing the usual things he used to do with Sehun instead he finds other things to pour out his unsaid feelings, and that is into singing. It was Saturday night, Luhan is all set and about to perform when he saw Chanyeol, Jongdae and their other friends together with Sehun and her girlfriend.

 _Good Lord helps me_ Luhan thought.

“That’s my Hyung!” He heard Sehun cheer from the crowd.

After his first set is done Luhan went to his friend's table and greeted them. When Luhan is about to sit with them he realizes that the only seat left is the one right next to Sehun, Luhan look at Chanyeol but his idiot of a best friend ignores him and continue talking with Jongdae.

“Hyung come sit beside me, It’s been awhile since the last time we hang out I miss you already” the younger said which made Luhan speechless and all their friends stops talking and stares at Luhan.

"Hey, Sehunnie I miss you too” He answers and hug the younger back.   

That night whenever Luhan is not on stage he and Sehun spend most of the time talking, they talk about random things they could think of, they talk like it's only the two of them together and Luhan can't help but feel so happy except that a part of him feels jealous whenever he notice how Sehun holds Nari's hand so tight.

The following week Luhan’s friend visits him again, however, this time it's only Chanyeol, Jongdae and Sehun, Luhan notice how miserable Sehun looks that night. Once he’s done singing he went to their table to talk but it seems like Sehun is not in the mood Luhan asks the two other friends but they just shrugs their shoulders.

"I'll just go smoke outside," Sehun said

“Since when did you start smoking?” Luhan asks he follows the younger outside the bar where Sehun went into a little alley to smoke.

“six days ago when she broke up with me.” Luhan didn’t know whether he should feel happy knowing that Sehun and Nari finally broke up or feels sad seeing how miserable the younger is in his current state.

“The day after we went here she called me and said that she’s breaking up with me.” Sehun started. Both Sehun and Luhan are standing and leaning their back at the wall of the club it was a quite place contrary to the noise inside.

“Did she tell you why?” Sehun shakes his head.

“Whenever I ask her she only said she’s tired and she needs some space and it’s killing me. Hyung you know how much I love her and all I want is to have her back.” Sehun’s tears start falling and Luhan is in pain seeing how Sehun suffers without Nari besides him. Slowly Luhan starts whipping Sehun’s tears with his hands he hates seeing Sehun broke down because of Nari.

“Hyung why didn’t I fall for you instead?” Sehun whispers.

Little by little Sehun moves his head closer to Luhan until their lips pressed against each other, however, it was not the kind of the first kiss Luhan expects to share with Sehun. Luhan breaks the kiss and wipe his tears before he went back inside the bar, as much as Luhan love to kiss the younger he needs to stop it before things get worse between Sehun and him.

 

***

 

“For my last song tonight, I want to dedicate this song to this special person in my life right now.”

The guitarist starts strumming his guitar, Luhan look at the crowd but Sehun is still not around then he starts singing Paramore's song Hate to see your heart breaks

_There is not a single word in the whole world_

_That could describe the hurt_

_The dullest knife just sawing back and forth_

_And ripping through the softest skin there ever was_

_How were you to know?_

_Oh, how were you to know?_

No words can describe how broken Luhan at that moment seeing Sehun looks so miserable crushes his heart. He hates how Sehun cries for someone who never loves him like how much he loves Sehun and he hates how he can't tell Sehun how he feels about him.

_And I, I hate to see your heart break_

_I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close_

_But I've been there before_

If only Luhan can help Sehun mend his broken heart he will definitely do it in a heartbeat, Luhan will do everything just to make Sehun happy but because of what happened between the two of them earlier Luhan is not sure what will happen to their _friendship._ As the song comes to its end Luhan search in the crowd until he sees him again.

_I hate to see your eyes get darker as they close_

_But I've been there before_

For a minute Luhan locks eyes with Sehun before the younger turns around and left the place, just as Sehun walk away a tear falls from Luhan’s eyes that never left unnoticed from the crowd.

 

***

 

Luhan wakes up with swollen eyes the next day he wasn’t even sure if he calls it a “sleep” because he barely had one. Luhan sighs as he remembers the things happened last night he wants to call Sehun and asks him how he feels. He was about to dial the younger’s number when suddenly he receives a text message from the younger.

_Hyung I know this is the most coward thing I ever do in my life but I don’t have the courage to see you today not because I’m mad at you, hell I could never get mad at my favorite hyung. After the thing that happened between us last night I think I know  the answer why Nari broke up with me and it’s not because of you hyung but because of me and this uncertain feeling I have inside, right now I still don't know how to describe it but one day when everything is settled I want to talk to you about it._

Luhan stares at his phone for the longest time and rereads Sehun’s message, ironically Luhan feels a little bit ease after reading the text message and hopes that one day Sehun can love him like how he loves him.

 


End file.
